On this page you will find witness testimonies to the 9/11 attacks
"I seent it wth my one eys! THart crornflabin evil drargn smirkin like in thart there playne! than allsa suden thay dispeard! playne done crahsed inta the towrs!"
Old Jimbob- (farmer)
"I can't say enough about the outstanding service I received from your company. Their team went above and beyond to meet our needs and exceeded our expectations."
Anonymous Amazon Reviewer
"I know they did it. I didn't see it or hear it, but I had a dream about it and my dreams are always right 75% of the time"
Madame Lareau- "psychic"
Below we see the flight paths of the four hijacked planes used in the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001:
- 1 7:59 a.m. American Airlines Flight 11, a Boeing 767, departs Logan Airport bound for Los Angeles with 81 passengers and crew of 11. (overtaken by the Anal Annihilators)
- 2 8:14 a.m. United Airlines Flight 175, a Boeing 767, also departs Boston for Los Angeles with 56 passengers and crew of nine. (overtaken by the Evil Dragons)
- 3 8:20 a.m. American Airlines Flight 77, a Boeing 757, departs Washington's Dulles Airport for Los Angeles with 58 passengers and crew of six. (overtaken by the Sammie Seals)
- 4 8:42 a.m. United Airlines Flight 93, a Boeing 757, leaves Newark for San Francisco with 37 passengers and crew of seven. (overtaken by the Chickalanche)
- 5 8:46 a.m. American Airlines Flight 11 crashes into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.
- 6 9:03 a.m. United Airlines Flight 175 crashes into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.
- 7 9:37 a.m. American Airlines Flight 77 crashes into the West side of the The Pentagon.
- 8 9:59 a.m. The South Tower collapses.
- 9 10:03 a.m. United Airlines Flight 93 crashes in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, 80 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.
- 10 10:28 a.m. The North Tower collapses.
Right as the two planes were about to hit the towers, a mysterious flash went off and both the Anal Annihilators and the Evil Dragons disappeared from the cockpits of the planes they hijacked, allowing them to travel forward in time (which is also back in time, confusingly.) Similarly, the Sammie Seals also displayed a similar pattern as her hijacked plane hit the pentagon. When the Chickalanche were attempting to fly to their intended target, the cockpit was overtaken by passengers, crashing the plane and killing everyone on board instantly. "But Ann, the Chickalanche were seen in the McDHL, how did they die in the future past and still play in the McDHL?" you may ask. Well what I am going to tell you is going to shock and arouse you. The Chickalanche you know and love NEVER EXISTED! A source that wishes to remain anonymous says "It's all just a big conspiracy. Just smoke and mirrors" As you may have noticed, the Chickalanche has been mysteriously "transferred" to another owner and the ORIGINAL Chickalanche has never been seen again. This is all a coverup to hide the fact that he died during the 9/11 terrorist attacks (in which he went back in time to do) AND he went FORWARD in time to the past future to play a few games in the McDHL to make us all believe the lies. OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE!!!
Written By: Ann Onimous, Lead Researcher of the McDHL attacks and author of Where are they now?: The untold story of the Chicken Hands
FROM AN EMAIL SENT TO THE MCDHL CONSPIRACY EMAIL ADDRESS (NAME HAS BEEN REDACTED FOR PRIVACY)
Hello, my fellow Americans (salute), I am [redacted.] I am an anonymous witness to the horrible acts of the mcdhl on September 11th, 2001, at 8:46am EST.
On that infamous day I was on the rooftop of a nearby building (that will remain anonymous) gazing through my telescopic binoculars in a totally not creepy way when I noticed a plane headed awfully close to the towers. I zoomed in on the cockpit and saw who I have recently identified as the anal annihilators piloting the plane while eating some sort of red powdered covered sticks I have never heard of. I thought about calling the police, but then I remembered that the police use cars and not airplanes. At exactly 8:45:45, right before the plane hit the tower, there was a strange flash of light in the cockpit and the hijacker disappeared into thin air, as some random ostrich burst through the door to save the plane (a bit too late am I right guys? ahem)
A few minutes later I noticed a second plane coming, and I was all like “surely it wouldn’t happen twice!” and guess what? It happened twice! I zoomed in on the cockpit again expecting it to be the anal annihilator guy, (who I couldn’t identify at the time, mind you,) but this time it was some sort of dragon with the evilest aura! At exactly 9:02:45 the cockpit flashed, and the dragon was gone. This time no one busted in, but I did see the words “get evil” spray painted near the back of the cockpit. I used my telescopic binoculars to look around the area, just in case another plane came and tried to get me, but instead I saw this alien on a snowmobile packing up a radio set and driving off. Now I’m not saying that they are connected, but they looked pretty connected to me…
Anyway, that’s pretty much it. I had to pack up my binoculars and stuff cuz apparently when planes crash into towers it causes a lot of smoke and even more panic. And all the hot babes were running out to evacuate instead of changing in front of their windows.
[REDACTED]
"That's such a weird question to ask on a blind date! Yeah, we did it. We would do it again too... wait, why are you writing that down? Wait, you're that conspiracy guy aren't you? You're so much hotter in person! "
Evil Dragons